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Three Good Ones...


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#1 Syrus

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Posted 21 August 2002 - 02:57 AM

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:
1. It beats being American
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
5. Where esle can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
7. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
8. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
9. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
10a. Own-an-Eskimo scheme
10b,c,d,e, you get it eh? Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground




LEARNING CHINASPEAK...
( English phrase followed by Chinese Interpretation )

Are you harboring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man -- Dum Gai
Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? -- Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum
I got this for free. -- Ai No Pei
I am not guilty. -- Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. -- Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. -- Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived. -- Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight. -- Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu




EVEN MORE CLUES YOU COULD BE A REDNECK...
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.
You think the Bud Bowl is real.
Your dog goes "oink!"
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
You know how to milk a goat.
Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.
Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.
Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
You have a refrigerator just for beer.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
You've ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.
The most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."
You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

#2 N00bvin

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Posted 21 August 2002 - 10:26 AM

Don't quit your day job.

Oh yeah, and Canada is our (US) bitch, so laugh it up frenchie. laugh.gif



#3 Syrus

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Posted 21 August 2002 - 03:54 PM

Pfff Canada 0wnz your ass. From my experiance, in america, you park your car in the parking lot, come back 20 minutes later and the windshield is broken and radio gone. In Canada you dont even have to lock your car, and no one touches it. Just yesterday there was a car parked with a windshield rolled down. No one touched it.

So in short Canada 0wnz j00. biggrin.gif

#4 Mr. Sharky

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Posted 21 August 2002 - 11:14 PM

",.. there was a car parked with a windshield rolled down,..."

Yeah, Canada sure kicks ass.
(neener neener neener tongue.gif)

#5 joeflux

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Posted 22 August 2002 - 12:46 AM

so the power of the country is based upon wether or not you can leave your car unlocked with windows down at night. Wow! If only our President knew that, he would know that our country is the least powerful because we have to lock our car doors?

HA HA HA HA. Thanks for the jokes.

#6 Syrus

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Posted 22 August 2002 - 03:49 AM

Pfff damn lame Merkans (no not all, just you tongue.gif)

My point was that Canada = peaceful, America = violent (not all, but where i've been anyways).
When you come over to Canada you can definately see the difference, I.E. No one carrys around guns, no gangs, low amount of thefts/shootings... wink.gif

(Gun thing was a joke if you didnt pick it up wink.gif)

Anyways this wasnt made as a hate thread because Americans are alright people smile.gif So lets put aside all the "competition".

#7 cyrusuncc

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Posted 22 August 2002 - 05:30 AM

anyone see the movie Canadian Bacon starring John Candy?

I feel as he does.


#8 N00bvin

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Posted 22 August 2002 - 10:07 AM

You gave us that Titanic song singing bitch, you fuckers!!!

You're peaceful, that's right... and stay that way... don't force us to come up there!!! mad.gif

#9 Syrus

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Posted 22 August 2002 - 03:45 PM

LOL Canadian Bacon was a funny ass movie biggrin.gif
When John Candy is driving in Canada going to Toronto, a cop pulls him over. He pulled him over because the french speaking canadians will get mad because all the grafitti on his truck was in english, so he made him re-do it in french too biggrin.gif

Ahh funny movie smile.gif

#10 juice3469

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 12:05 AM

HAHAHAHA ur right this is funny. being canadian is better than being american. haha what a comedian. your damn country is a piece of frozen ground. haha. u make me laugh

#11 Samsinite

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 07:47 AM

you guys are pathetic, most of you. Too bad both countrys have retards in them.

If your wondering, I'm American. Both countrys have flaws. Question for Syrus, do you live in a rich city where no one needs to steal anything?? Also, what is the population of your town?? 2?? and how many times have you left it?? once to go to america?? Also juice3469 that was the worst comeback I have ever heard I am ashamed of you living in this country.
At least you guys have pride.

#12 N00bvin

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 08:03 AM

Actually I live in Japan... and guess what... not as many retards!!!

Well... except for the Canadians that live here.

Plenty of perverts, but not many retards.... oh, and hot chicks... plenty of those too... wink.gif

#13 Syrus

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 05:33 PM

Of couser both countries have flaws, My comments werent aimed at offending people... Each country has its morons. Lets just stop the flaming between countries smile.gif

The city i live in has.. hmm 80,000 people or so now. Nice city by the US border. Left it loads of times to visit family both in Canada & America.

BTW, The flee market, where i've been in the US, rocks, you can get anything from CD's, Lighters, Hats, Lasters, etc. biggrin.gif

#14 N00bvin

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 08:03 PM

It was all in good fun... I, myself, wasn't serious about any of it... a little rivalry isn't bad, though... just for fun.

Actually I've always wanted to go to Canada because it does seem a little cleaner and nicer.

Also, I LOVE the movie Strange Brew!!!

#15 Col.Havoc

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Posted 23 August 2002 - 08:31 PM

I AM CANADIAN!!!

Had to get that off my chest.




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