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L O T W #7: Short Story

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#1 metaldevil



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Posted 20 February 2007 - 03:51 PM

1. Obey XS rules
2. One entry per person

Your task is to write a short story (~100 - 2000 words) where the theme is horror (scary horror not you're-out-of-toilet-paper horror). For instance, it can be psychological or gory. However you weave your yarn is up to you. You'll have a couple extra days for this one.

Please give it a title.

Submission deadline: Thursday, March 1

Have fun! beerchug.gif

Edited by metaldevil, 20 February 2007 - 03:54 PM.

#2 Raging Walrus

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Posted 01 March 2007 - 12:55 AM

Alright here's my story:


Once upon a time, somewhere in the rainforest, where a harrying amount a rain is dropping to the ground like mortars dropping on enemy tanks in a warzone, there was a band of people known as the Geek Squad, not the Geek Squad from Best Buy, I mean actual geeks. They were taking a little vacation to their summer house, which is located near the river, but covered by huge amounts of fallen trees, working on their newest product: Zapmaster 3000! This piece of technology lets you create your own lightning so you can wreak havoc on whatever the heck you want! If you hate smokers, you could zap them and their bodies will turn to ash, while the cigarette is still lit. If you hate thunder, you can zap the sky and the thunder will shut up, LITERALLY! But you're probably thinking Zapmaster 3000...................create your own lightning.................wreak havoc......................yeah you're probably thinking it's a bad thing. Well all we got to say is that it is a bad thing! When they were still in the middle of creating some high-tech insanity, they thought to themselves, "man this has been taking a long time!", so they decide to sleep the pain away, knowing that it was 1:30 in the morning. During their little nap-fest, the Zapmaster 3000 was acting strange, like it was having a bad dream. It was rolling around the table, it fell to the floor while it was still continuing to roll around, fell down the stairs, and out the front door. It was acting human, even though no one would suspect something to create lightning would be human. But remembering that it was 'raining men' outside, something was gonna go down, and go down it did. The rain entered its bad circuits, and the good circuits apparently just died out! And all of a sudden, you hear a silent-but-loud 'BOOM!', and now something was going on. When one of the nerds heard something after waking up to a bad dream, he looks outside the window, and sees that the Zapmaster 3000 was laying outside the front door. So he walk downstairs thinking "WTF?!" and walks outside in his Warcraft pajamas. He looks at the Zapmaster 3000 and notices that the bad circuits were working and that the good circuits were dead. So he tries to pick it up, but realizes that if he might touch it, he might die from electric shock, knowing that it was 'raining men' outside. But he had to get in back in the house and place it somewhere where it wouldn't escape, like it could even move in the first place. One touch, and he got a huge shock on his arm and legs, only a quarter paralyzed, but could still move normally. So he picked it up fast and rolled it in the house, suspecting that if he threw it, it would break, and if it broke, something bad would probably happen, something BEYOND bad to be exact. So his Warcraft pajamas were starting to tatter off, and he just places it in a box, and then goes back to bed. Waking up the next morning, the Zapmaster 3000 was out of the box, and when everyone saw it downstairs, knowing that it was upstairs when they went to sleep, they were all confused, except for the man in the Warcraft pajamas, who experienced this weird chaos and insanity. They were asking everybody about what happened. The Warcraft pajamas man said that when he woke up, he saw the Zapmaster 3000 lying outside next to the puddles of mud. But when another guy walked next to it, the Zapmaster heard, yes heard, footsteps and after he heard it, its bad circuits were turning on at random, and then turning off normal. So everyone knew something bad happened to this thing, and that something bad was about to happen. So some walked away freaked the crap out, the others stayed to keep an eye on it, some close, others away from it. One of the nerds got shocked, but without a piece of lightning being seen, so that nerd walked away fast, then ran, then tripped over a cordless phone, then got up and hit his head on the countertop, and then just decided to not move. So right after the nerds started walking away slowly, the Zapmaster rolled down the hallway where they were walking, and stopped after they turned around, so they knew that their Zapmaster 3000 was alive! So they all run away trying to get some tools and equipment to get this thing to shut up and stop waking up! But the last nerd that tried to open a door gets zapped to the brain, pieces of his brain were splattered on the wall and his body got shocked, paralyzed itself, and then blew up, with every body part flying around the house, breaks windows, rips pieces of wood in half, and blew wind to even trip 2 of the nerds. After those two nerds tripped, one of the managed to escape, the other got zapped from both of his feet from the ankle down, and his feet were completely shattered, and he could barely even crawl! Then after his pants get stuck in a nail in-between two pieces of wood, the Zapmaster 3000 slowly rolls in, looks at him, aims for his head, screams his lungs out, and 5 seconds later.................zap, zap, zap, zap.....................LIGHTNING! His whole body flies out of the house, half of his body flying up, half of his body flying down. The rest of the nerds got out of the house with no weapons and no protection. Just glasses, dress clothes, pens, and formal shoes. But the Zapmaster 3000 starts flying, yes flying, so it could catch up with them with no chance of escape! One nerd gets blasted into the water, with his body zipping down the river like kids skipping rocks near the pond, without the rocks stopping its bouncing. The second nerd gets blasted into the trees, with 3 trees collapsing on his body, and the blood slowly escaping the pile of trees. The last nerd to survive, the one with the Warcraft pajamas, looks at it once more, and realizes that he failed for the first time in its life, so he rocks at it, and the Zapmaster 3000 zaps it back to his face, and the rock hits his glasses and he drops to the floor, screaming with pain! Looking at it another time, the Zapmaster 3000 VS. the Warcraft nerd. The nerd running at the Zapmaster 3000, the Zapmaster 3000 flying and rolling towards the nerd. The nerd dives right at the Zapmaster, the Zapmaster flies right at him. The Zapmaster zaps the nerd, zaps itself, the Zapmaster 3000 blows up, the nerd starts whizzing through the air clocking in at 300 miles per hour, heads straight toward a rock wall, hits head first, body crunches up, then blows itself it, blood flying at 150 miles per hour, the blood hits a tree, and there you have it. Terror once again happens in a place where you would never expect terror to occur. And so the story end with one question: when was the last time you stood outside your house in the rain, when you know that its created by thunder and, well, LIGHTNING? Fin.

Yeah that might be confusing, but I didn't see anyone post. So I decided to make a story that I never wrote. Feedback please.

#3 metaldevil



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Posted 06 March 2007 - 05:40 AM

Congrats on being unchallenged. lol beerchug.gif

#4 StrictPuppet


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Posted 06 March 2007 - 08:02 AM

QUOTE(Raging Walrus @ Feb 28 2007, 04:02 PM) View Post

Feedback please.

A very difficult read. Perhaps paragraphs would help.... then again, maybe not.

#5 hamwbone


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Posted 06 March 2007 - 11:37 AM

A title change would be nice. I suggest: The English Language - ON WEED!

Edited by hamwbone, 06 March 2007 - 11:38 AM.

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