ok would it be possible to put the ide connecter for the dvd drive at the back of the xbox and then put pin headers into the holes on the connecter then run another ide cable from that to the dvd drive??

Probably, but it's not such a good idea. You get degrading quality if the wires are too long.

one of my mates wanted to make a slimbox for his car, to put under the passenger seat. he got an extended IDE cable and just ran it through the back of the xbox. it looks ugly though, he had it under the seat of his car so it was never seen.

im going to run a short ide cable off of the connecter, ive head i can go up to 36 inch without data loss, and il probs get the ide cable upgrade for inside the xbox.

I would say it would be better to get an old IDE controller card and use the IDE socket from it rather than trying to remove the one on the xbox. then just make a little cable from it and an old IDE cable to run to the back of the box... you may also want to find a way to extend the power cable.

check my xbox its made for external hdd but i think i gone make it exturnal dvd soon sins my dvd will die soon